bloody hell.
it's just the starting of Chinese New Year and I am about to welcome you with this curse post.

I bought a pair of earring today.
wasn't worth the price but i love it so much I bought it.
as I was keeping just now,
one of them dropped,
and poof it just went missing,
just that way.
and it's not the first time thing happens to me like that.
not the freaking first time.

so I just sit down and cry after all failed attempts to find it.
and I wonder I question I ask myself,
why does things like this always,
f*cking always happen to me ?
what have I done wrong ?
why do I get treated like this ?
why is my life like this.
oh yes why is my life so miserable like this.
I know there's up and downs in life but why the hell do I have to keep searching for things ?
why the hell do I have to keep chasing after things ?
what is wrong with me why is my life like that why why why just f*cking why.

I JUST DON'T GET IT WHY DO I HAVE TO SEARCH FOR THINGS ALWAYS.
DAMN IT ALWAYS, FOREVER.

it's so pain idk why I feel so depressed then I think about my life why so unfair why so hard why so miserable why do i have to be me why do I have to please people why why do I have to think like this why.
and then the reaction of everyone especially my family if, if they know i cried over a missing earring I think they'll really laugh their ass off but exactly what do they freaking understand ?
and then I wanted to find it again my aunt came into the room teasing me bout hiding in the room talking to bf.
I don't have a bf I don't plan to have one so just leave it be.
so here I am unable to find my earring, squealing whining wondering.
why is my life like this why is it so dead why is it so routined why is it so screwed up.
like in my entire life what had I done wrong to be treated like this now.
I just don't understand why do I have to live like this.
sis offered to buy me another pair.
I could have bought one myself I swear I will but then it's just why does it have to happen to me ?
it's not about the missing earring it's bout why is my life really so f*cked up.
forever finding.
non stop finding.
what will I get in return after i found it ?
nothing.
because I'll have to start finding again.
damn it why.