we are all mad here.

from my active days in the previous years to only a mere 3 entries in 2019,
i'm just glad it didn't take me any longer to open this page again.
i miss writing, i surely do.
and having not writing actively for the past few years,
i find that my English has gotten much worse, probably the lack of reading contributed too.

and it makes me wonder, what have i been doing for the past few years ?
yes i've graduated, resigned from my first job, a year at my current job now and apart from all these,
what have i actually done? i seemed to have insufficient time and can i blame it on the many interests i have?
i have tons of interest and stuffs that i would like to do,
but i've never really actually execute them.
they are always in my head.

looking at my page now felt like ah i miss those days when i used to get so worked up on the codings of a design template.
i'm not really a computer person, i'd just get hold of the bare minimum so i can move forward.
and that is why, i can never excel at anything.
i am greedy i wanted to learn everything and i can't choose, so i ended up not choosing anything,
to my own demise.

right now, i'd really like to revamp this page all over but i have completely forgotten about all the limited knowledge that i have gained back then on codings !
i guess practicing does makes a difference.

i guess revamping this page would be a good start to my 2020.
till this page comes back with a new look ! or a completely new page? :X

noted that i said Happy New Year instead of Happy Chinese New Year although its the season for it ?
well yeah this is me trying to start my year right again with hopefully no screw ups.

Remember my last post where i said that i had my first worse week of the year ?
it turns out that the subsequent weeks were as bad.
anyway i did survived January, and i managed to because the holidays are what i have been looking forward to.
and now it's the end of my holiday week.
can't believe everything just went by so fast ?
i had a fairly good time during CNY this round, though i am not a very CNY-ish person as i only look forward to the second day at my grandparents' house.
however this year i managed to get myself out more than the times I stayed awake at home.
haha my poor mum kept complaining that i do not have time for her.
I am glad my CNY went well. with the people that matter to me.
with my bff, my girl gang, my f1 gang, my mini gang in between.

speaking of which, the one new thing i did this year,
giving angpaus to my grandparents.
it felt kinda goooood but yeah i know i should really start saving money already ><

My Saturdays are gonna be very occupied from this week onwards.
even the last Saturday went i reached hoemtown at 9am, immediately my activities kicked in lol.
i went to see my paternal grandparents at their memorial park, then i had breakfast-brunch with CT,
then i went out with my mum, then i went out with A&A, then i had dinner with my OH's sister till almost 11pm, and had my final agenda of the day with my bff.
pretty packed right ?

today's about to be immense too.
i am currently at the office, will be having lunch shortly, then was invited to attend my ex intern boss's wedding (CONGRATULATIONS!!), and then movie night and probably supper ?
and i had 2 loads of unwashed clothes, unpacking, tidying and cleaning chores waiting for me back at home.

ah just can't believe how fast time flies when you are having fun /  do not have to work haha
well relaxing days are gone. and now, back to the real world.
will try to start all things positive, hopefully i wont get my hopes high and crushed at the same time.

Happy CNY again.

i have never thought i'd had my week started so badly.

so there's s case that i've fucked up big time,
because i did not oversee the beginning of the process.
and so i let everyone down,
on the first day of my work this year.
and then i had a fight with my mum.
and then i almost broke a stranger's phone.
and then i had a quarrel with my other half,
because he is frustrated to pick me up.
which got me thinking,
do i really need this?
since i can be there for myself whenever i need myself.
so is this even necessary ?

anyway it hasn't been a pleasant week.
and i sincerely hope that it'll get better.
and also, pray that this will be the worse i'll ever experience at work?

Well hello.
i couldn't find a better space to vent so here i am.

the last post was in November 2016.
and everyday, well most of the days, i wanted to pen down my thoughts,
often than not, i'd just spare myself with the same excuse - i don't have the time.
knowing me, you'll know its complete bullshit cause i am just pure lazy.
also other times, i'd consider other blogging spaces where i'd find time to explore,
or maybe set up my personal pages, but it's obvious that they are all attempts as tadahhhh
here i am, back here again ha ha

so now i thought its 2019. Brand New 2019.
let's try to start this again ?

fast forward,
I had finished law school, finished my pupillage, got called to the bar and fortunately managed to land on a job.
I am beyond lucky and blessed to have this job.
I have nice bosses and i do not hate my job.
everything about my job is well, except for one person who tends to get on my nerve whenever i have to deal with her but its the laziness in me that makes me reluctant to get up for work everyday.
and it makes me blue everyday.
truthfully i really don't know what should i be feeling.
or maybe i shouldn't feel at all.

on the other hand, i went to another interview,
which job scopes are where my interests lie.
However i didn't get it.
I was fine with me not getting it, because that's what i asked for, prayed for,
to not get it as i have already been confirmed by my firm.
it was one week ago when i got to know the results.
i was fine then but not now, not today.
probably its because most of the people i know got in?
or maybe its because she got in?
well, my other half got in.
and i am truly happy for him,
but i just have this strong sad and down emotion gushing up to me after he receive the e-mail yesterday.

2019 is bound to be a year of changes.
and maybe i just do not know how and where will our relationship lead to in the end.
sometimes i hope we could just remain like this, close & happy.
but given the circumstances it's not going to happen because we lack communication.
and he doesn't like communicating stuffs that's not important to him, even though they matters to me.
so this is where our indifference struck, and me being emotional will tend to be nasty and angry,
which i'd regret after i cool myself down.
as of now, he's no sure where will he be posted to.
and i doubt he'll be placed anywhere near me.
so not knowing what will become of us in the future, i am afraid.
and i couldn't stop thinking.

ah it's too early for me to be moody.
considered them ranted and over.

2019 is an important year.
i am hoping that i'll manage to have a breakthrough this year,
stepping out of my comfort zone,
and facing whatever challenges without being negative.

all in all, i know God's grace is enough for me.
just got to have faith.

i've had too many of those moments,

Week two it is !
it's a nerve-wrecking week for me,
as i have not contacted my lecturer for progress check,
and i have been worrying for days about it aiks


Sunday
Sunday is always happy.
went to church with Ray, saw those happy facese of my connect members.
good to be back after 2 months !
#feelslikehome
and i have registered for the conference which is taking place in October.
can't wait ! ^^
we had KFC for lunch and yeah since we were in town,
we went for dessert too >/<
this time,
Fluffed Cafe & Dessert Bar.
super nice homey place with awesome waffles hehe
we were a step early because it became full house in less than 10 minutes after we arrived.



Monday
got a call from MPP in the morning saying he's otw to my uni from his !
managed to meet up for a while because you know lah, MPP very busy hahah

after that, went to Fishee Coffee.
roommate was craving for cakes and i need to kinda settle my tutorial & project paper TT
had been to Fishee once and i def love the place.
especially with their ambiance.
there's dried flowers hanging everywhere (Y)
and their chocolate ball is really awesome, but it was sold out this time TT







and so happened, it's 2.29 ! once every 4 years haha
to make it memorable, coursemates' dinner !
and apparently it is confession day for the girls.
and the boy cannot reject if being confessed to,
if not he will have to pay for the damages.
whaaaaat ? ikr hahah
xj kept confessing and qh got all blushed haha
can't believe we spent almost 3 hours just chatting
happy times
happy times,
since it's only week two TT

Tuesday
mustered my courage to e-mail supervisor.
feedback on my comment form wasn't good yikes
and so, appoinment on Friday, as early as 8.30am TT

Wednesday
i don't remember lol

Thursday
spent whole day in the library preparing project paper stuffs.
and by whole day i meant whole day.
like from 2pm to 10pm.
wow i can't believe myself either haha

Friday
finished meeting supervisor in just 30 minutes.
she's so kind i really feel guilty.
ahhh
she just guided me through, and trusted me completely with my work.
don't understand why was i nervous and worried for.
but God must have been looking over me.
i'm so blessed.

because i was craving for kimchi,
and i thought i should celebrate a little for passing progress check,
thus, kimchi time >/<
then we had dessert after.
we went to MIDO for lunch,
and they have lunch set !
so so happppppyyyyyyy



then we went to Miru Dessert Cafe.
had been wanting to try for sometime,
plus minnie kept raving about it,
so we went.
and it's really really very good !
all i had in my mind was so good so so good, must bring the young one here hahah
Saturday
the young one was free for the weekend, thus we went to PJ.
roomiee tagged along, as we have to get our mirrors.
yeah we had been suffering without a mirror for 2 weeks already lol
brought minnie for grocery shopping,
then dined at Sushi Zanmai for dinner.
since we have time before the movie starts,
we went to Miru hahah
again for me !
called the same toast for the young one, not sure if she liked it :/
cause she was so busy settling her stuffs zzz
i also called for an iced strawberry tea, it's really the bomb.
i miss it so much it's really really good TT
went for London Has Fallen with the happy couple,
and it's midnight show !
i love midnight shows hahah
this movie,
didn't fail my expectation.
towards the back, i felt like i'm in a video game haha
i enjoyed it the guns and all (Y)
but still, i prefer Olympus Has Fallen more.
but it's still not time to celebrate sigh
jiayou bah,
jiayou TT

alas,
first week is over.
and surprisingly, my keyboard is working just fine again.
must be God's healing AMEN !!!

all in all, i will be having
7 classes this semester (but only 6 papers for finals)
3 tutorials (hopefully not 4)
1 project paper to be done
1 internship to be applied
not to forget,
countless assignments

well if you look at it from an angle,
it isn't so bad after all,
but try living it,
you'll definitely know how i feel sigh
i just can't bring myself to do work,
and i have slacking for the whole week.
most persuasive reason for slacking,
it's the first week only mah
but deep down i know i am in deep shit
and then i have been worrying for the whole week,
but just can't bring myself to do anything gah.

anyway, events of the week !
got back on Sunday,
had awesome brunch at B-Lab, treated by aunt.
to kinda celebrate our reunion,
me and roomiee went for dinner and movie.
watched The Mermaid.
it's funny haha but normally i wont watch such movie on the big screen.
but she insisted so yeah





Monday,
had a scrumptious lunch and headed to the mall.
watched Monkey King and had cupcakes !!!
the movie was uh okay not really my style.
and i don't really watch this kind of movies in the cinema cause imo,
like how there's this effect when someone flies it's not really natural to me.
but 100% for the casts' & crews' effort.
but really too much of those effect just not really my thing.




Tuesday,
nothing much.
i went for a jog !
so good to be exhausted ^^


Wednesday,
practically spent my whole day with Jay.
she's leaving to study abroad.
gonna miss miss miss you so much :(

Friday,
went to find the young one.
brought her for grocerry shopping and movie.
watched Zootopia, and it was a 2-hour show !
i'd say it's quite long for an animated movie.
so much details in it and the characters are just too too cute !!!
absolutley lovin it !


Saturday,
finally met up with Shin and Jordan haha !
had only been able to keep myself up to date with her through social media,
it's really great to see her in person.
and she brought me gifts ! ^^
so fun talking to her i really enjoy our time together hehe
btw Descendants of the Sun has aired its first episode on the 24th !
omg i have been waiting for so so so long for this drama,
and the first two episodes do not disappoint !
Song-Song 's chemistry is so on point i caught myself smiling every single time they have a scene together.
awwwwww


i guess joongki-sshi is everyone's crush now eh.
welcome back ^^
you have served the two years well,
i mean look at you.
so strong and muscular already,
no longer that baby we once know.

so yeah just a short recap about the week,
and i really do love how this post is filled with pictures haha