we are all mad here.

thanks la Wen for bringing us here to taste their famous laksa and cendol.
but i had ABC instead cause i don't do cendol opps.









we wanted to go to Persiaran Karpal Singh but the rain just wouldn't stop :(

aloha,
mid sem break is here !
weird enough,
it doesn't feel like a break for me though...
well i have explained that why this new semester doesn't feel very much like a semester to me,
and that's why it doesn't feel like a break when i am having one either.
probably i've been on my own break since semester started haha

i won't be heading home this semester break because i have tonnes of stuffs to do.
firstly there's this Penang trip with my besties, (over & i had so much fun!)
then there's my cousin's wedding,
and i would have to be in uni to do some preparation works for the event my college is going to run.
for the first time ever,
i didn't want to be home during a break, and that's very very weird.
maybe i'm just tired of travelling hmmmmm

basically this is my "outline" for my mid sem break lol
be back real soon for my trip to Penang ! :D

well i'd try to not let a post published without a picture,
so here is one of the shots from Armenian Street heheh

mid October, and i still don't have the slightest idea of my route for this semester.
probably it's because i've been going back to my hometown too frequent,
and also because most of the tutorials have not started.
so i am left clueless, super c l u e l e s s .

everyday i live like a souless zombie, doing only what need to be done.
for example,
i only do my part today when my group have to present the day after tomorrow.
i tried so hard to concentrate in class by taking down notes, to have myself ended up lost in the midst of lecture. every single lecture.
i only prepare the meeting's minute a day before next meeting. yeap i dragged almost for a week, and i find no meaning in doing so.
all of these very well explains i do only what i had to do, nothing more, nothing less.
but sometimes i did ( i think i did ) stuffs more than what i am supposed to do,
but i don't feel more productive.
i mean i should feel happy because i have accomplished more,
but in my heart i would just tell myself i did it just right, i did what i am supposed to do.
but in my heart too, i wanted to tell myself i actually did more than i should.
and thus i am messed up like that,
constantly needing to live with two very conscious souls in one body.

i felt so lost & aimless last night & quietly cried through my sleep.
i have so much thoughts running in my mind, thinking of all sorts of things i wanted to say but i just can't.
because i know what people would tell me after i tell them how i felt.
i know because it has been the same for as long as i am alive.
having to live with 2 different thoughts everyday is eating me up.
then i'd think about people around me, and came to a conclusion.
somehow i realized people don't appreciate me as who i am, but mainly because they need something from me.
my gadgets, my tools.
people would just often take my phone just like that and play with whatever they like.
they wouldn't notice that my phone's battery is dropping,
or my phone is heating up,
because they know they just want to kill their time by using my phone.
so many times when i was using, they would just say eh lend me your phone for a while,
and a while turned into an eternity.
i couldn't bring myself to say no i don't know why.
maybe i am afraid that they will hate me,
and because i know God's child isn't supposed to be so stingy and protective over material stuffs.
so i'll sit there still and sulk just inside my heart,
and then hate myself for thinking about people like that.
sometimes too i would think that i do not have to right to judge people like that because i might be the same in their eyes as they are in mine.
and i am not supposed to judge at all because only God can do that.

sometimes i wished i could just type what was in my mind ,
but i realized the mind works best when i am not multitasking.
so either think or write.,
because to think and write at the same time makes this post a lot shittier.

to a better october.

there, i lose myself again.