we are all mad here.

just in a blink of both eyes,
yes CNY has ended, 2 days ago.
sadly for me it wasn't very much of a celebration cause i was working and there is no holidays like how i get a week off during school days.
ah yes done my complaints during last two posts, so sorry to repeat.

anyway, a lil update on my off day during CNY week.
nothing much to update about CNY though.
didn't really do any visiting.
:(

so it landed on Monday, 11th of Feb, the 2nd day of CNY celebration.
would really love to thank my manager for that though she arranged it by random.
because on the 2nd day,
all of us will go back to grandparents' house to have a feast.
grandma with the help of aunts will cook the food,
& all i get is to go there and eat hahaha

before heading to granparents' house,
we stopped by at dad's boss's house.
he had a buffet lunch and all of us were invited.
well this year around was indian cusine.
and you know how i can't stand spicyness lol




next stop,
grandparents' house :D
my mum has 3 sisters and 2 brothers.
one of her brother & family would have to go back to his wife's side for the feast,
so left with us 5 families in total.

we have 2 tables of these and we had to take turns to eat lol
cause really not enough place to sit hahaha
i think around that time there was about 28 people in the house haha
and every year,
this is what we wait for :D
since young,
really young there is this drink already.
it has been a tradition i guess ?
haha


so after makan and all,
us the younger generation went to our cousins' house while the adults stayed at grandparents' and play cards.
involves money of course haha
it's really convenient cause it's walking distance to cousins' house :D

so what we do in da house lol

Chloe & Hanz <3

 random snaps.
all credited to JessMinn & aunt Cheryl's G11.

Geen's super beautiful self braided hair. <3

so this pretty sums up my 6th break of the year.
haha so may food post not blogged cause i lost my phone cable.
sad much :(
have to wait i get a new cable or just wait till i bluetooth the pics to dad's lappie haha
mundane. mundane.
goodbye ! :D

this is one experience i would like to share.

not long ago,
i've decided that i would like to take up a data plan.
U Mobile comes to my mind for it is cheap.
i'm using Digi btw.
thus i went to apply for the porting on the 4th of Feb.
the guy told me the max time i've to wait is for 48 hours only.
so i happily waited.
until the 5th day, which is 144 hours later, 8th of Feb,
still nothing happened.
so i went to ask the guy.
the guy told me : " oh the system a bit slow..wait a while more should be fine. maybe on the 3rd or 4th day of CNY you'll be be ported. "
seriously ?!
i went to apply for the porting on the 4th.
6 freaking days before CNY.
i did it before CNY because i have to use it during CNY ma.
then now have to wait till the 3rd or 4th day cause everyone is taking CNY holiday.
anyway i wrote in to the customer service department on the 8th before asking the guy.
they replied me instantly, which i thought there was hope.
they asked me for those details and bla bla bla.
submitted them and the next day, 9th of Feb.
they gave me my case number and say will contact me asap.
then it is CNY already.
fine i don't expect them to work anyway.
so i waited till the 4th day of CNY, 13th of Feb, still nothing happen.
i waited till the 6th day of CNY, 15th of Feb and i couldn't take it anymore.
i wrote in and ask them to cancel my request for porting.
and as expected.
my mail wasn't replied.
now HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW IF YOU ARE GOING TO CANCEL OR NOT ?
so what should i do now ?
wait till you bloody reply my mail ?
later i reloaded my phone and then suddenly you pop up and say yay you have been successfully ported.
will you pay for my credit ?
already caused me so damn much trouble dy i used RM 30 in a week.
thought the porting wouldn't take long so i did not reload my Digi number.
who knows i reload already and the line gets cut off right.
so i reloaded 10 bucks by 10 bucks.
you know how freaking frustrating and disturbing it is ?
if i get ported then nevemind,
but it has been TWO FREAKING WEEKS,
NOTHING IS DONE.

so what if you offer cheap packages ?
to attract people and to disappoint people like this.
this kind of service,
i wouldn't want it anyway.
so thank you for letting me know what kind of service you are offering.
it's Monday already.
seems like U Mobile is still on holiday ?

long crap post.
oh hello.
it has been a week past Chinese New Year.
can't believe it came and then it's half way through for this festive celebration.
so fake right.
maybe i did not enjoy myself enough.
when i was in school,
all i ever wanted is to have long long holidays.
so i really look forward to celebrate CNY.
but, not this year, not this time.
because for the whole CNY, i wasn't allowed to take leave.
anyway they are kind enough to give me a day of on chu er.
so basically my CNY is a working CNY.
and because i have to work,
I hadn't have the time for family bonding,
I'd missed out so many house visitng moments with the pals,
I had lost myself in the midst of chasing after time.
i didn't handle it well,
everything goes astray.
and nothing is fun.
so much that happened lately,
omma is not here and i can only stfu.
sometimes i think i get treated differently because i am of the different race.
people assumed whoever i conversed in chinese with, are my friends.
people also assumed that i was talking bad about them when i conversed with my one and only chinese friend.
i'd like to make myself clear.
not everyone can speak english or malay.
so why is it an issue when they talk to me and i replied in chinese ?
because you can't understand so you want to make a deal.out.of it.
so should i make it an issue when you converse in your own dialect too ?
so it's alright for you to use your own language but not alright for me to use mine.
ah i get it thank you.
and then, things i was warned i was told.
do you think i am stupid enough to do something-that was told to me beforehand-wrong?
seriously i don't think i am smart but i am neither stupid till that extent.
i had been super careful because i did loads of mistakes,
but then i feel so angry and pissed for getting reprimanded at things I HAVE NOT COMMITTED.
but other than swallowing that anger and agree to what you think i was wrong,
there's nothing i can do.
so what you fight back.
oh you have no manners.
because i am new,
of course everything is my fault and yeah you say i'm wrong,
of course i am wrong.
just swallow.
and another one, you don't sound or judge me for something that you did the same as what i did.
i remembered you saying those exact things that cannot be done and i watch you doing them.
er logic please ?
plus, keep asking me to do things that you could have possibly done your ownself .
after that blaming me for not doing this and that.
hello ? did you do them yourself too ?
sometimes i'm so pissed i don't feel like doing anything.
why should i complete what you had started ?
Own your actions.
why have they got to be pushed till their mine ?
of course, for me to be better.
that's why i have to do everything i was told to.
anyway i remained silent and yes-ed everything that has been ommented on.
my fault or not, all also my fault.
whatever la.
because patience is a virtue.
have to train myself to handle such situations.
so currently i'm doing for the sake of doing.
telling myself to be better every bloody time.
it's frustrating but i don't wanna end what i had started not long ago.
things i don't express verbally,
i pen them down.
no i'm not complaining.
this is just a way for me to express what i feel.
because one heart can only take so much.
and remember no one is a saint.
i am not and won't be afraid.
cause we are all humans.
you wanna judge and assume, so will i.

bloody hell.
it's just the starting of Chinese New Year and I am about to welcome you with this curse post.

I bought a pair of earring today.
wasn't worth the price but i love it so much I bought it.
as I was keeping just now,
one of them dropped,
and poof it just went missing,
just that way.
and it's not the first time thing happens to me like that.
not the freaking first time.

so I just sit down and cry after all failed attempts to find it.
and I wonder I question I ask myself,
why does things like this always,
f*cking always happen to me ?
what have I done wrong ?
why do I get treated like this ?
why is my life like this.
oh yes why is my life so miserable like this.
I know there's up and downs in life but why the hell do I have to keep searching for things ?
why the hell do I have to keep chasing after things ?
what is wrong with me why is my life like that why why why just f*cking why.

I JUST DON'T GET IT WHY DO I HAVE TO SEARCH FOR THINGS ALWAYS.
DAMN IT ALWAYS, FOREVER.

it's so pain idk why I feel so depressed then I think about my life why so unfair why so hard why so miserable why do i have to be me why do I have to please people why why do I have to think like this why.
and then the reaction of everyone especially my family if, if they know i cried over a missing earring I think they'll really laugh their ass off but exactly what do they freaking understand ?
and then I wanted to find it again my aunt came into the room teasing me bout hiding in the room talking to bf.
I don't have a bf I don't plan to have one so just leave it be.
so here I am unable to find my earring, squealing whining wondering.
why is my life like this why is it so dead why is it so routined why is it so screwed up.
like in my entire life what had I done wrong to be treated like this now.
I just don't understand why do I have to live like this.
sis offered to buy me another pair.
I could have bought one myself I swear I will but then it's just why does it have to happen to me ?
it's not about the missing earring it's bout why is my life really so f*cked up.
forever finding.
non stop finding.
what will I get in return after i found it ?
nothing.
because I'll have to start finding again.
damn it why.

Steve Angello | Sebastian Ingrosso | Axwell

“Because we did this move, we hope to find ourselves in a situation where we do not know what we’re doing, which is sort of us trying to create some sort of chaos, mix shit up a bit for ourselves,” 

"We just decided that we reached a point where we don't know what the next move would be. We always like the challenge. And we don't like to repeat ourselves. We just felt like it was time."

thanks to aunt Connie again we got the tickets to attend this concert.
but it's really not my kinda concert haha
it's like a party where everyone just dance and go high.
well i don't go high.
but it's a very good experience for me.
i went there for their music afterall haha.
thanks to Jess Minn who influenced me with the song "Calling" .
and these kinda music idk how the term but these kinda music is really awesome.
keeps your heart pumping all the time haha
and i love beats,
so i definitely love all of these.

went in to the concert venue around 6pm,
& the trio only showed themselves at 9.30pm.
ah what a wait.
then it started to drizzle and rain.
and drizzle and rain lol
anyway for the whole time,
i guess me and sis were the stiffest there haha
i mean we went there solely for the music >.<
and then the lightings and graphics are just too awesome.
so colourful so pretty.
everyone was so hyped but i just can't lol
anyway the beats really got my heart pumping haha

oh finally.
after 20 mins of loading there is see a white sheet to crap on.
seriously what's wrong with the connection ?
it has been days zzz on off on off i also sien weh.
maybe it's because i didn't show my appreciation ?
thus my confession :

- Dear computer & internet.
i really love both of you so much so please don't die on me T.T
you both are such a great help i can't be here without you guys.
guai guai lah har <3

okay done.
after a week not touching this keyboard,
hello.
quite sien lah if on this pc cause it keeps lagging one then makes me frustrate always.
anyway,
after a straight seven days or so of closing shift,
i am finally having my break tomorrow, as in today yay :D
peeps are coming back from KL tomorrow yay yay :D
then we're gonna visit grandparents together-gether ( kak sara always uses this :p )
and honestly,
i do not know what to feel.
hah
cause i'd never expect to not see grandma celebrating CNY this year.
who would ever know that last year was her last ?
sigh all the regrets and guilts,
how am i suppose to pay back ?
got my first salary but didn't manage to buy good food for you,
nice clothes for you.
sigh if i had the time if i appreciated. if if if.

see just 10 mins internet died again WTFFFFFF.
okay we're back ahem.
my daily life recently,
3am sleep - 1/2pm wake up - 4pm work - 1am off work - 3am sleep.
didn't even have the time to bond with mum.
well we did a lil over a lunch haha and it lasted for only an hour ?
then on the night itself, she went down to KL lol
only did a lil chat with sis in the car when i fetches her,
and with dad hmm barely talk to him lately.
whatesle wallie, jj, dd and yipo.
aiyo completely upside down already my life.

then idk why UMobile hasn't activate yet.
changed my carrier few days ago,
the guy told me to wait for 48 hours max,
but bro it has been 80 hours already wtf.
damn bek cek if cannot be done tell me lah i didn't reload or anything just wait for the activation like an idiot. fu -.-

anyway came back home to find lovely home cooked meal.
haha thank you dad.

i shall start this with ,
yay some time to spare finally lmao
well actually i think i have loads of time,
but never to make it productive tsk tsk

feeling uber hyped now probably cause i'm listening to Alesso's Calling (Lose My Mind) .
it's still stuck in my head how the crowd sang and danced along to this 2 weeks ago lol
can't believe i was there hahah

so payday was supposed to be on the 29th of the month.
guess when i had my day off ?


28th.

wtf right i can't do anything without money lol
you know lah i've a list to spend on T.T
but anyway,
got my pay on the 30th,
so not so sore haha.
TYL for looking after me ^^

well on the 28th.
mum had her day off too.
but actually i kinda wasted my day cause i officially woke up at 2pm.
yeah.
although i woke up in between but got up at 2pm to fetch mum lol
really super not productive, my day.
well at least i visited Jing Wen ehehe
her first day at work :D
then dapao-ed Ayamas for dinner
omg craving like mad for that T.T
then idk what had i done to only sleep at 2am,
and then work the morning shift the next morning lol
schedule kinda nice this week,
3 days morning, 3 days night lol

29th should be happy right but i am not.
hahah no pay T.T due to the holiday on 28th for Selangor state.
so our pay had to be credited a day later.
what sis told me lah.
so awesome right working in the same company ^^
anyway i'm now happy already XD
plus all the food had been stocked up,
so plus the happiness.
i really want to bring back the whole pastry case you know.
Starbucks's food is really awesome.
cake & pastries & savories & all (Y)

so this is basically my random updates la.
Christmas decos have Yet to be done cause  i am very lazy  the camera hasn't been charged.
SHM one pics i haven't choose.
and i'll be updating bout some notebooks i have bought throughout the month year.
lol

okay tata.
oh, &
speaking of which,
another 10 days to CNY,
maybe 30++ days to results ?
it's scaring me.
it had been scaring me since i've started my exam.
shit.

you know what i am wishing for. a Life.