chance.
and it occurred to me that my one & only chance was this.
on 14th of May when i was taking my really sweet nap about 3.24pm,
i received a text.
usually i don't read text straight away but because of the vibration,
i checked my phone with much irritation.
and the next moment i leaped towards the computer (thank God it was on),
went to the upu portal, clicked into UKM webpage, keyed in my IC & there's this miracle.
i was stunned.
i mean i never thought i could've gotten this.
cause good things rarely happen to me,
moreover things that i desperately wanted would never come to me.
so this is clearly a miracle & a blessing from my Father above.
thank You so much i really can't thank You enough.
since the 13th i started to check the upu web already.
cause it was announced that we are able to check if we got called to attend the interview of our preferred courses.
but everything was down until the 14th.
UM's webpage kept delaying the time,
i guess they weren't ready.
but by midnight, which is around 2am on the 15th,
i'm able to check and nope i didn't get called for UM's interview.
i was so sad and depressed.
i kept figuring what went wrong. why i didn't get it. what wasn't enough. what did i failed.
why & why.sorry i might sound a lil greedy but it's UM.
and i really wanted UM regardless of the courses.
that was my initial thought.
and for that,
i guess i had mood swings for a couple of days,
i was sad & depressed, very much depressed.
every night i would cry before i sleep,
i don't know why.
there's no reason at all.
i mean probably i was really tired,
tired with everything in life,
tired with my unsorted-out life,
mixed with a lil sadness, depression & frustration,
i've become a completely different person by night.
well that's night when it eats you up.
mum would called and ask if i'm okay everyday,
Amanda mammi knows my worries and sadness,
guess this is how she felt 2 months ago,
haopengyou thinks that it's not necessary for me to be not over this cause i have gotten what i wanted,
which proves a point;
i got i wanted.
i wanted law.
and i got it.
so why do i have to be so greedy.
i wanted more options you see and
on the other hand probably i'm stressed because people have high expectations of me,
pressured because both my best pals got into the same uni whereas i'm alone.
well it's not like i haven't been alone or i can't be adapt to being alone but to think of it it's rather,
sad.
and so my nights hunt me,
my dreams wake me,
i couldn't sleep,
i couldn't breathe.
and until one fine day i finally stepped into the stage of acceptance,
i found myself so happy.
maybe this mood swing of mine takes days to be stable lol
but i'm perfectly happy that i've got the interview for UKM.
it's my only chance and i've got only one shot.
it's such a blessing.
God does things for a reason.
reason we wouldn't have known till we walk the path He has chosen for us.
i shouldn't have doubted i should've trusted Him.
i'm really sorry lord that i portray myself in such a way.
i struggle, i drown myself.
i was completely blinded and to think of it i must have really been an idiot.
i wanted law.
i wanted law more than anything else.
before i had any idea of what i wanted to study,
i wanted UM.
and now i know i really want law,
i just don't care where i may be,
alone or not.
i just want to pursue what i have the strongest feeling in,
and God gave me this chance.
UKM's Law is my first choice,
and i'm really blessed, and lucky
because i've been granted my wish,
my prayers have been heard.
thank You so much my Lord.
& thank you UKM for giving me this chance.
0 comments